Saturday, March 12, 2005

How to Decant Your Perfume Into a Vial

You can buy little perfume vials on the Internet from many suppliers in ones or by the dozen. The reason you would want to decant your perfume into a vial is so that you can leave your heavy perfume bottles at home, but tuck a vial or two into your purse for freshening up, or to give them to friends and family.

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First, find your reading glasses because the vials and perfume bottle spray nozzles are impossible to see at close range without them. Then you get the perfume you want to extract the liquid from and set it down on the kitchen table. Be sure to remove all bills and homework from the table before spraying or you will get notes about allergies from the teacher and stupid lovenotes from your egocentric mortgage banker. Then you line up the little vials and their tiny plastic wand-stopper-tops. Plan to struggle with the vials for at least 8 minutes as they attempt to escape the table by rolling away and dropping to the floor. Lest I forget, remember to wear slippers or shoes because broken vials can be very painful. After you've extracted the glass from your feet and thrown away the broken vials, get more vials and line them up in such a way that they do not roll away. Okay we're ready to decant. Remove the cap from the perfume bottle and locate the spray nozzle opening. Hold the bottle in one hand with your finger on the nozzle, ready to spray. Grasp the first vial in your other hand. Point the nozzle opening into the vial and begin to pump. Examine the vial for liquid. If there is no liquid, you have been spraying at the bottom of the vial, not into it. Reverse the vial so you are holding it with the open end, up. Now spray into it again, this time filling it with liquid. Try to remain steady or the liquid will wind up in your lap. By now your nozzle-pumping finger is tired so stop pumping and put the bottle down. Grasp the little plastic thingy and gently drop the wand into the vial. Give it a little push from the top to set it straight. Now grab the vial with the other hand, and push the plastic stopper into the vial with all your might. If you haven't broken the vial yet, you will probably do so now. This is okay because you love perfume and don't mind it squirted into your eye, or severe finger cuts due to the additional broken glass. If this happens, please start at the beginning again. If you have successfully managed to get the liquid into the vial, and the stopper securely fastened (you'll hear a faint "pop" as it snaps into place), you may now mop up the floor and wash your hands. You, your kitchen, your dogs, birds and cats, the table, your floor, and the walls next to you will smell of this perfume for the next 1.2 days. This is to be expected.